It’s time… for legal gay marriage
For a long time I quietly resisted using the word “partner” when referring to my lawfully wedded, because it didn’t seem to represent the level of commitment and depth that I believe our relationship has – a partner suggests more of a business relationship or someone you happen to be dancing with. I love, and would much prefer to use, good solid Anglo Saxon words like “wife” and “husband” but I felt compelled to use the word partner in general conversation, particularly with anyone I knew to be gay because I noticed that when used the P word with gay friends and acquaintances, there was a subtle change in attitude; a softening, almost a visible sense of relief that I was positioning myself with them rather than (however unintentionally) against them. It’s an empowering feeling, I hope, for both of us but I shouldn’t have to make this (small) sacrifice the terms ‘wife’ and ‘husband’ are meaningful and powerful words and shouldn’t be exclusive to us heteros, although I’m not sure if the distinction (between husband and wife) would be gender based when used in a gay context (two blokes in a relationship both refer to each other as their respective husbands or two women are both each others’ wives) or more role based; one fits the traditional wife’s role the other the husband’s. There are plenty of gay couples where this distinction is very evident, but this is entering another area of contention – maybe a more dangerous one. I should quickly add that there are some hetero couples where the traditional role/gender expectations are reversed.
The laws in this country that outlaw gay marriage are illogical, wrong and hurtful. They are nothing more than pathetic attempt to marginalise (or keep marginalised) gay people by a paranoid loony few. I’m very happy to express my solidarity with this cause by using the expression partner, but I resent the fact that I have to, especially when the ALP is in government and a majority of Australians support the change.
